giving kisses in church

I'm on a hot streak going to church, I think four weeks in a row now. The church around the corner from me makes it hard to miss because there are at least 5 masses on Sundays. One of the most innovative and ingenious things I have seen brought to the Catholic faith down here is going to confession during mass. During the mass there is a line for the confession booth which is on the side of the main aisle, people come to mass on Sundays with a purpose, ready to kill two birds with one stone. However the drawback is that you are face-to-face with the priest, no screen separating you. But, if you think about it there is no way the priest will ever get up and chew you out no matter how appalling what you have to say is because it is the middle of mass, you can go right ahead and give him your worst.

I get really awkward and nervous when it's time to share a sign of peace with the people around me. It's part of the culture to kiss on the cheek in greeting but I'm not sure if everyone does it at church, for example if you are next to another man not sure what the playbook calls for, especially it can be awkward if he kisses his wife or male friend, then I have no idea what the plan of action is. Usually I hesitate for a moment, see what other people around me are doing and then just go for it. My new plan of attack is to stand next to old ladies, I'm not afraid to go in for the smooch with them, add a little spice to their life. However, even with that fool proof plan you always have to be aware of being thrown a curve ball like a family arriving late. Last Sunday a family ended up sitting next to me and the young daughter 12~15ish was directly next to me. When we reached the part about "peace be with you . . . share a sign of peace" I ended up completely avoiding sharing a sign of peace with her, I think it was more her than me. In total I had one kiss on the cheek and 3 hand shakes, I still have no idea what I am supposed to do.

(Disclaimer: not my church)

Wouldn't even contemplate kissing this little Benjamin Button wannabe, I think I would just straight up abduct her.

And why does she remind me of Rafiki?