Música

"Tu sin mi"- Dread Mar

I recently heard this song for the first time on the radio. I had no idea what it was called and usually in situations like that I try and remember a few lines of the chorus so I can google the lyrics later and find the name of the song that way. With this song, I unfortunately couldn't remember any of the words of the chorus, but would stood out to me was the incredible expressiveness and sadness of this guy's voice and almost tried to find it via google based on that, which there obviously is no way to google "really sad sounding spanish song", however, I did eventually find it.

Listening to this song I feel like you don't need to be able to speak Spanish because he sings with such emotion and sadness that it kinda transcends the language difference. I don't know why but it just stands out to me as a something sang in a very honest and painful way and doesn't sound fake and I think that's what makes me like it.

Beddaes- it's like having a fountain in your bathroom, except it's used to wash your ass apparently.

I was just informed of the actual use of a beddae this past weekend, however I am still not convinced that it is in fact the right use. Yesterday, I was told it's used to clean your poop shoot and can be substituted for toilet paper. That just sounds so wrong to me and Europeans are stupid. I initially thougt a beddae was for women to clean their smelly empanada de marisco.

I actually just tried to find an informative article, but since I couldn't figure out how to spell it these are a few of the series of things I googled in my quest to find it:

• bathroom beddae- top result: true love only comes once in a lifetime
• vagina cleaner- top result: keeping your vagina healthy and how to properly clean a vagina (9 minute youtube video)
• vagina cleaner in bathroom- top result: 131 uses for vinegar
• old french thing in bathroom- top result: La Bain toilet roll holder, Spread old french charm in your bathroom
• old european private part cleaner that shoots water- top result: A short history of the BIDET or washlet!!!!!!!

I either need start pronouncing "bidet," bidee or Tibet, Tibee. I need some uniformity in my life.

Three thoughts on the bidet:

• Whenever I am in a bathroom with one and it is right next to the toilet I almost always pee in the bidet because of the novelty of it and it basically resembles a urinal. So much easier than lifting the seat if it is down. Can anybody honestly tell me that that bidet doesn't look more inviting and user friendly than the toilet?

• I was told that you sit on it to use it. But if you're supposed to sit on it, why isn't there a seat?

• If I had a bidet in my house and had guests over I would leave it on all the time. To me it's like having a fountain in the house, you got to show it off. Or just do this:

Lastly, I leave you with a bidet story:

At the office that I work in for DG there is a bidet in one of the bathrooms (please refer back to image number 1). Once when I was going number 2, I turned on the bidet for ambiance, it's nice. However, I didn't realize that I had put the toilet paper on the bidet and when I turned it on the water came out really strong and shot up and completely wet the toilet paper role. "Ohhhhhh Nooooo" (said in dainty Stefan voice) and "Oh my Gawd" (said in Hard Body Pat Barr voice) went through my head at the same time.

I made myself a command center but I'm taking a beating from the shocks it gives me

If you didn't hear me the first time, I made myself a command center but I'm taking a beating from the shocks it gives me. I have a second screen plugged into my laptop, except it is also has to plugged into the wall outlet and the extra power keeps shocking me big time.

It's really cool, usually I have one screen open for pleasure (no, not that kind of pleasure get your heads out of the gutter) ie. youtube, hockey fights, muzak, and the other screen is for business, ie. youtube, hockey fights, muzak. Also you will note that I have my own phone!
Unfortunately it is not plugged in to anything (there is supposed to be a cord dangling on the ground in this picture). If I ever feel my blood sugar levels getting low I have plenty o' juice to keep me up and running. I recently discovered that new flavor, top center, multifruta. I am yet to try one but at the moment there is one chilling in the fridge. (Could that be where the expression, when someone says they are "chilling" comes from?).

This is also a good opportunuty to present some of the illnesses that plague my computer. Unfortunately I don't think it is long for this world:

- one of the hinges on the screen is broken, hence my computer fails to stay in the locked and upright position. only viagra can help it now in its advanced age.

- the flux capacitor aka charger doesn't really charge all the time. I have to fiddle with the connection to my comp before it recognizes that it is plugged in sometimes.

- It's runnin' hot.

I don't think all the extra voltage from the command center helped any of these problems in any way, but it did remind me of macho macho battery.

Buenos Aires picture of the day

I found this game at a used cd store downtown.

You have to help Dr. Dolittle, who recently opened a hospital in Spa City, cure all the sick pets that people have. Including dogs, cats, giraffes, elephants, and tigers.

It ain't no Bible Game, but it'll do.

Fuck Dancing

There's Science to Dancing Also

Science can make you a better dancer - or at least improve your chances of not looking stupid to the opposite sex, say a group of evolutionary psychologists who used 3D motion-capture technology to create uniform avatar figures and identified the key movement areas of the male dancer’s body that influence female perceptions of whether their dance skills are “good” or “bad”.

Apparently it all comes down to neck, trunk, left shoulder and wrist, the variability of movement size of the neck, trunk and left wrist, and the speed of movement of the right knee.

Every time I go out and end up at a club or a barrish type club I freeze up like holy hell. Friday night I was at a barrish type club, more or less recently arrived, and an argentine girl asked me to dance. I didn't know what to say after being blind-sided like that and I said, "no, I'm waiting to buy a drink." Not even I'm waiting to get my drink. I was still waiting to pay for one.

So, I just can't do it, I thought I would take this as a chance to look back through my history of dance, maybe uncover where I've gone wrong.

Montreal sophomore year:

This was a break out setting for me in terms of my dancing career. The last night at the Winston Churchill Pub that dance floor was set on fire and I had a phenomenal time. Things of note at this event: I was hammered and I almost drowned in the bar when the pipes broke. True story. Also note the dual robots in the foreground.

One of the quintessential fairly awkward situations that I get myself into at these clubs manifested itself when I went with my friends to a miercoles po' which is a big student dance on Wednesday nights in Santiago.

As much as I tried to fuel this experience with alcohol to break out of my shell, it still stands out in my head as kind of awkward. I'd say overall poor extension of extremities on my part and when did I start developing this limp wrist? Not a mark of a good dancer.

The next significant moment that I can think of would have to be in Santiago where Joe, Beth, and I went to a discoteque on a Tuesday and got downnnn. Even though we were the only three people there and we didn't buy a single drink, Beth was able to use her blonde hair and charm, mostly her blonde hair, to convince one of the security guards to open up the dance hall and put on the disco lights and music.

I can't go into detail because as Joe so elegantly put it on facebook, "What happens in Aliens Discotheque, stays in Aliens Discotheque. Unless they put the security footage on Youtube." But basically Joe and I were stripping and Beth was picking up our dirty socks to keep. This can be where our affinity for stripping can first be cited.

The shotgun wedding was an important dancing experience. Again, a more structured setting with some structured moves.

I also had a rope so my partner(s) could not get away.

(some seem to enjoy being lassoed more than others)

Obviously, I would be remiss (this is one of those expressions I'm not really sure how to use but I like it and it sounds good) if I didn't mention strip mod. The fall show was our coming out party. Any time someone gives us/me coordinated moves to do I like it.

This swim through the crowd move, courtesy of QB/QT Jon Costa, is my bread and butter and I need to get back to this. However, it works best only when I have a target to swim through the crowd to. I think this move nails all the key dancing areas: neck, trunk, left wrist, and right knee.

Notice the full body extension of this thrust. It's like a shockwave was sent from my toes all the way up through my whole body.

From there the next big dancing moment and this was a multi-day alcohol fueled dancing extravaganza would be Cancun, which was a lotta lotta fun. Claire Sweeney is quite the spark plug on the dance floor and was one of a handful that helped me break out of my shell.

I also found time to slow down my rockstar lifestyle as a pirate.

Finally, strip mod spring where I got in touch with my more autistic dancing side. (When I was little I used to not know the difference between autistic and artistic. Maybe from growing up in Boston? Doubtful. I think I am just a dumbass.).

What we talkin' bout here? We talkin' about practice.

Lastly, before we reach present time we have dance of the decades. Something obviously went wrong here.

What? Two guys can't get lost in each other's gaze on the dancefloor despite being surrounded by hundreds of beautiful girls?

In closing, these are a few of the conclusions I feel can be drawn:

- Overall, I seem overwhelmingly genuinely happy and smiling when bailando.

- I need to get shitfaced to dance. This proves a difficult task down here because I don't buy drinks at the bar.

- I need a friend, who is a girl, to help me to get started dancing. I just can't go to a place and start boogieing on my own.

- There is a pattern of undressing myself. I think it's because it takes the focus off the dancing and onto the taking off.

That's all I can think of for now. I definitely pysch myself out about this whole thing. Actual thought that I have when I start to dance with a Latin American is that I have no business being in the same room as them as far as dancing goes. However, like the classic line that is said during every sports game where you are up against a really good team or what you thought would be a really good team and it turns out you can in fact play with them and everyone in the locker room/on the bench start to say, "boys, they're not that good." (However, you usually end up getting blow out and losing by 10 goals in the end anyway.).

Fetus lady

Greg sent me this. The below photo was the leading picture of a story on cnn about 2,000 aborted fetuses found in Thailand. Since we don't have a formal setting, like a 30 rack and a soiled couch to share this type of thing and our deepest darkest secrets, usvschile will have to serve as our mountain top.

"you don't have to read the article or watch the video... just look at the face of the lady on the left of the video's first frame (before hitting 'play')... i saw this and started giggling uncontrollably (at work) so i had to close out of the window because i couldnt manage to read/watch it without cracking up at that ridiculous looking lady. i thought i would share this with you." - Greg

Música

If you want to be able to understand what I am talking about in the below paragraph you will have to watch the music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaIppY7U3c0&feature=related. (youtube doesn't let you embed it in the blog.). However, I really don't think it is worth the effort, I don't really say anything of significant interest or importance.

Latin American music videos are so absurd. Do they not realize that segways are not cool and never will be? I think what happens is they see the newest piece of American luxury and extravagance and jump on the bandwagon without even thinking about how silly they look. Later he gets on the jet ski and is going like 15 mph but is wearing a life vest. That is not how to look cool.

It's just like how they are stuck in the 80s and think any artist from that period is a god. Sorry, not true anymore.

Other than that I jam to this. And it also is keeping with my theme of dual english/spanish songs for the week.

As always the playlist for all of the Musica entries can be found on grooveshark: http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/playlist/Usvschile+musica/36359432

The Boca fans clearly had some type of R2 unit with the security blueprint

(I wish there was a way to click and zoom in on this one but the zoom sucks. The rest work though)

Although Boca lost the game, that is how you go to an away stadium, ready to burn that mother to the ground.

And the thing was they looked so calm and nice during the day with their pretty blue and yellow umbrellas.

So Boca lost the game 1-0. To give you an idea of the magnitude of the meeting of these two teams, the Boca coach resigned after the game.

River entrance:

I watched the game on tv, it was hard to miss given it was broadcast on all of the local tv stations. Imagine if the Patriots game was on cbs, abc, nbc, and fox, and the wb56, (but not pax tv or upn38 because dr. quinn medicine woman and star trek were playing on those two channels, respectively).

The highlight of the game was definitely after River scored in the early second half. The place and the players went absolutely nuts. You could just feel it break the back and spirit of the Boca team. However, shortly thereafter when play resumed was the coolest moment of the game, by far. Out of nowhere the Boca fans lit up 100s of bengalas, which look like torches and just started going nuts.

The goal instead of making them mopey re-energized them and gave them a sense of urgency to try and spur their team to the next level. When watching it on tv the whole stadium just turned into an eerie haze of smoke that the camera tried to peer through.

The other crazy part with the bengalas to see was the boca fans begin to throw them down onto the stands below where the river fans were. I read in a newspaper and a couple other places that they were were also throwing seats, but I fail to see how that is possible because the stadium is made of concrete and there are no seats in the upperdeck. You could just see balls of flame hurdling from the upper deck onto people and the field below, after about 20 seconds there was just an empty swath of stands with patches of flames.

How do you respond to your stadium being put on fire?

I see your bengalas and I raise you, a massive motherfucking banner.

People say that giants are fictional, but who else could have sown such a thing?

Just as mind boggling as the creation of such a banner is the amount of coordination and respect it takes by the fans to carry it in and unfurl it over thousands of fans.

On a different note . . .

That's how you commute to a game. I'm pretty sure that's a duck boat?

Does the route for the Boca fans to get into the River Plate Stadium not look like the same route to destroy the Death Star?

"An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station. But the approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station"

Tonight is the renewal of the biggest rivalry in Argentine soccer. The two biggest clubs in the country, Boca Juniors and River Plate, meet in the River Plate Stadium for one of only two meetings this year.

There is always a lot of security for the games and there is especially a lot for this game, I think I heard someone say that all the fans are on double secret probation. As game time nears there is supposed to be about 1,500 police on duty outside the stadium and the security detail began at 9:30 this morning.

It's a little bit dangerous to be an opposing fan going to an away stadium and even more so for this game. The security schematic really reminds me of the Rebels trying to exploit the weakness of the Death Star in A New Hope. The Boca fans have one point of entry, have to surive a long narrow street* on the approach by going through five security checkpoints delineated by the yellow circles in the schematic, are surrounded by the enemy on their home turf, all in order to get into the most massive stadium in Argentina and hopefully come out with a win.

*(I originally said "shoot the moon" but I could see how that expression could be confusing given star wars is set in space and the death star was mistaken for a small moon at first.).

You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!

Will someone send me a fucking Four Loko?

Riobamba 986, Piso 8

CP: (116000) Capital Federal

Argentina

This basically sounds like only the greatest thing in the 21st century. I've been reading articles about it for the last two months and the damages it causes to whole families but it only makes me want it more. Four Loko is to me what the '67 Shelby GT was to Nicolas Cage in Gone in 60 Seconds. It's my unicorn.

As of today it looks like it is the end of the road for Four Loko in Massachusetts and I have not had the chance to taste its sweet sweet nectar. Shouldn't the Massachusetts police be concentrating on preschoolers with 17 bags of crack in their shoe and women getting beat and killed in Chelsea over ricotta cheese during monday night football? (ps. if you read that article, the best part has to be the cameo by the homeless friend.).

I say Let the boys play

update: 11/17/10

Someone really now has to send me a four loko or put a box with two (in case I want to try mixing) of each flavor away for me. Be my Noah and his ark.

Chicago - In a surprise move designed to head off an anticipated FDA ban on caffeinated alcoholic drinks, Chicago-based Phusion Projects announced Tuesday that they are going to remove caffeine from all their drinks, including Four Loko.

"We have repeatedly contended - and still believe, as do many people throughout the country - that the combination of alcohol and caffeine is safe. If it were unsafe, popular drinks like rum and colas or Irish coffees that have been consumed safely and responsibly for years would face the same scrutiny that our products have recently faced," the company said in a statement .

“We are taking this step after trying - unsuccessfully - to navigate a difficult and politically-charged regulatory environment at both the state and federal levels," the statement continued.

Phusion is also going to remove other energy-drink ingredients from Four Loko, including guarana and taurine.

While there is little known medical evidence that the drinks are less safe than other alcoholic drinks, public health advocates say the drinks can make people feel more alert and able to handle tasks like driving. A Wake Forest University study found that students who combine caffeine and alcohol are more likely to suffer alcohol-related injuries than those drinking alcohol without caffeine.

I literally get paid in cocas

After the 10 Dias de Democracia Global, we had about 10 million sodas left over. Coke sponsored the event and gave us way too much stuff and we have nothing to do with it. I lugged this stuff from place to place about 8 times and would like to think that I have developed an intimate relationship with these sodas.

Before I do any task or job I always ask how many cocas I am going to get before considering doing it. It's like I'm 5 years old and soda is a real form of currency to me. At the end of every day, what I do is fill up my backpack with sodas and orange juice boxes. The one risk is bringing them in the same bag as my computer and one exploding on my computer. I think I am probably going to keep bringing sodas until one explodes and my computer dies.

As a result underneath my desk is becoming a mess of juice and sodas. (I don't consider beer bottles as part of the mess, they create ambience.).

The closet in my room:
Just kidding, these are both from the office where we have make-shift storage set-up. While we were piling these in I think someone got trapped under the stack pictured below, however I'm not worried yet. The Chilean miners have proven you can last quite a long time trapped under similar conditions.
Last weird tidbit: The sodas expire (which is weird in itself because I don't really think of sodas as something that can expire) before the juice boxes. A little counter-intuitive/ unnatural, hmmm, hmmm?

Buenos Aires picture of the day

Ya, I know. That's a tray table in the back seat of a car. Talk about a hole in one. (That reference makes almost makes no sense in this situation but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I also still don't know whether the period goes inside or outside of the parentheses, so I am going to delay making that decision by writing this sentence. I guess I will put one inside and outside until someone gives me a definitive ruling, *ahem* most outstanding english major.).

Música

God, I have good taste in music. Things that make it awesome:

- I like duets

- I like the play back and forth between the two languages and how at a couple point they switch to the other's native tongue

- I like songs where sometimes they don't speak words and just make sounds

- Fuck you Pat Barr because you are going to make fun of me

Colonia, Uruguay

So on Saturday I went to Colonia, Uruguay. Basically, I think it may be one of the oldest towns in Uruguay or Argentina or something, my mom keeps telling me it's a UNESCO world heritage site. Isn't that a kind of wafer? To be honest, I have not opened any guide book since I've been here and I also took a walking tour of the city but I have no idea what the lady said because I was paying zero attention (I'll explain why in a second). However, I do know that they built a giant stone wall around the city to defend against the Spanish and that eventually the city expanded outside the walls.

Colonia is hands down one of the coolest places I have visited in Latin American (It was also my first time outside of Buenos Aires in 3 months, so that could have something to do with why I am gushing over it).

I'm on a 90 day tourism visa here and my 90 days expired last week so it was time to hop the ferry over to Uruguay. On Friday I bought a round trip ticket for Saturday (future reference, obviously much cheaper to buy well in advance but that is tough to do unless you are a woman and have the special planning gene that comes with having two x chromosomes. SCIENCE. There should really be different time frames for booking things for men vs women, for example if something is cheaper if you book it a month in advance, it should stay cheap for men an additional two weeks, this is what we would call a positive form of gender discrimination.) Anyyyyyway, I got on the hour long ferry ride at 8am, lost an hour due to a time zone change so arrived at 10ish, and then took a walking tour which was included in my ticket, where I met a very nice older gentleman Norman, who is from New York went to BU and is now semi-retired but previously did marketing for the NHL, among other popular labels/places, which is genial as the spanish say. I also met Suzanne who lives in Somerville and is is just about to start working for a non-profit in Roxbury doing urban planning and housing. I got her info so I will definitely be contacting her when I get back to Boston, that shit is right up my alley. They both were on vactation for a few weeks in Buenos Aires taking Spanish classes, which seems like a very neat and productive way to spend a vacation and meet people.

So the reason why I couldn't concentrate at all during the tour other than the fact that the town is beautiful can be boiled down to two points: stray dogs and motorized vehicles. But first some pictures of the town:

and of course me with one of my stray doggies:

There are about a million different places where you can rent different modes of transportation and the square-butt fancy boy ass-licking segway is yet to make it down here yet . . . There is a God! Looking at the vehicles I was literally like a kid on Christmas morning. You could choose from golf carts, scooters, atvs, and fucking go-karts, no word, no words. I have never ridden any of the latter 3.

After we ate lunch and I got a little bit liquored up I went off to rent one of these perfect creations. I basically went up to the counter of one of the places and I was like, "I want to rent it all" and they were like, "okay, you want to rent it all day? Which one do you want." and I was like, "No, I want to rent it all." There were like, "ok we get it, all day, but which one" and I was like, "obviously there is some kind of language barrier here, I want to rent them all." and they were like, "you have to choose one."

Talk about asking to do the impossible, this is like walking up to a table that has a machete, a gun, and a box of fireworks laid out on it and someone telling you you can only play with one. It is just one of those ultimate life choices where you can't go wrong with any but it is also physically, humanly, any kind of -ly, impossible to make a choice. It reminded me of a trip to Big Woody's Fireworks.

What I ended up having to do was weigh the pluses and minuses of all the vehicles:

ATV:

Handling //////////////

Top speed /////

Acceleration //////

Gas mileage /////////

Off road //////////////////

Risk of injury //////////

Intangibles Bad Ass

OVERALL //////////

Scooter:

Handling //////

Top Speed ////////////////

Acceleration /////////////////

Gas Mileage ////////////

Off Road ///

Risk of Injury /////////////

Intangibles Kind of Gay

OVERALL /////////

Go-Kart (Buggy):

Handling ///////////////

Top Speed ///////////

Acceleration /////////////

Gas Mileage /////

Off Road /////////////////

Risk of Injury /////

Intangibles Every Kid's Dream

OVERALL /////////////

In the end I went with the Scooter, sorry to disappoint you with the reveal, I'm guessing you had no doubt I that I went with the buggy. I was so close to going with the buggy, finding a stray dog, grabbing some more beers and just taking off with the dog in the passenger seat, I actually went to 3 different places to get the buggy, but at the moment they all were rented and I didn't want to have to wait for it to come back. When all was said and done, very happy with my choice. At heart, I think I am a 2-wheeled vehicle being. (I passed on the atv because I didn't want to look like an asshole driving around on it while everyone else was in cars going down the streets.)

I rented the scooter for $25 USD for the day and the guy basically gave me a helmet (I actually got pulled over later in the day by the Uruguayan police for not wearing it and I had to give them my Massachusetts drivers license, please don't tell my mom), showed me how to fire it up, and I just kind of drove away. I did some laps of the town and then found a dirt road with nothing/no one in sight and simply just drove. It felt amazing.

I eventually ended up at a National Park, where I asked how far Colonia was and they told me about 30 kilometers away. I almost didn't make it back and ended up having to fill up the tank, Dumb and Dumber is not an acccurate portrayal of the gas mileage scooters get.

Things to take away from my scooter adventure:

- I now know why people where sun glasses and goggles, when I got above 70 kilometers/hour it was hard to keep my eyes open because the air was making me tear up so bad.

- I also developed a sick blow out from the wind (I failed to take a picture)

- Every once in a while I would get hit with a bug, luckily never in the eye . . . I thought about what would happen if I did but I never really came up with a plan as to what I should do.

- I made an epic pass of a bus on the shoulder of a dirt road.

Anyway to end the day I went to the beach, where I went swimming . . . gorgeous gorgeus water, also stays shallow really far out which is good for someone like me who is afraid of sea life.

Finally I ended the day by going across the street to a bar, or what I thought was a bar. The set-up was similar to Wollaston Beach, beach on one side of the streets, bars/restaurants/clubs on the other. Let me just preface this place by saying it was awesome/ it could have been someone's house I had just walked into.

I went in, asked the lady if they had beer, she was like "uhh, ya, we have beer" I was like, "ok, I'll have one" and she got me out a liter of the Uruguayan beer, "Pilsen" 1000x better than the Argentine beer. However, all I had was Argentinean pesos, which is not usually a problem in Colonia (unless you are in someone's house) because it is truly international in terms of visitors, they will accept almost any type of money, Uruguayan, Argentine, US, Euro. The lady didn't know what the conversion was though, but an old man sitting in the living room was like, "I'll find out" and picked up the phone and called in the conversion, it was strangely awesome, it reminded me of how back in the day you would call the local weather forecast recording for a dollar. My parents hated when my sister would do that. Getting the change was the best part, they didn't really have any but had a little coffee cup that was filled with various coins from different countries and had me pick out the coins I needed, I just grabbed whatever.

I ended up grabbing a seat on the patio outside where I thoroughly enjoyed the beer, it was the ultimate pressure free place to down a beer. I think the place used to be or was or they were making it into a place to stay for visitors, and I'm supposed to go back and help them out!

It could be awesome, it has a bocce court, an awesome little pool with a little wooden bridge over it, and another bridge over the driveway. I ended up talking to the old man for a bit, it turns out he was an ex-representative for Uruguay to the UN. When I asked what happened to the place he said "the winter," if by winter he meant Hurricane Katrina had recently hit then I understand what he was saying.

Anway that was my Uruguayan adventure, after the beer I hopped back on the scooter, for the first time fired it up with no problem and made my way back to the ferry. Colonia is definitely a place worth visiting and I think I want to go back and at least spend a night. Also, the rental place swore to me they will have the buggy waiting next time.