Beddaes- it's like having a fountain in your bathroom, except it's used to wash your ass apparently.

I was just informed of the actual use of a beddae this past weekend, however I am still not convinced that it is in fact the right use. Yesterday, I was told it's used to clean your poop shoot and can be substituted for toilet paper. That just sounds so wrong to me and Europeans are stupid. I initially thougt a beddae was for women to clean their smelly empanada de marisco.

I actually just tried to find an informative article, but since I couldn't figure out how to spell it these are a few of the series of things I googled in my quest to find it:

• bathroom beddae- top result: true love only comes once in a lifetime
• vagina cleaner- top result: keeping your vagina healthy and how to properly clean a vagina (9 minute youtube video)
• vagina cleaner in bathroom- top result: 131 uses for vinegar
• old french thing in bathroom- top result: La Bain toilet roll holder, Spread old french charm in your bathroom
• old european private part cleaner that shoots water- top result: A short history of the BIDET or washlet!!!!!!!

I either need start pronouncing "bidet," bidee or Tibet, Tibee. I need some uniformity in my life.

Three thoughts on the bidet:

• Whenever I am in a bathroom with one and it is right next to the toilet I almost always pee in the bidet because of the novelty of it and it basically resembles a urinal. So much easier than lifting the seat if it is down. Can anybody honestly tell me that that bidet doesn't look more inviting and user friendly than the toilet?

• I was told that you sit on it to use it. But if you're supposed to sit on it, why isn't there a seat?

• If I had a bidet in my house and had guests over I would leave it on all the time. To me it's like having a fountain in the house, you got to show it off. Or just do this:

Lastly, I leave you with a bidet story:

At the office that I work in for DG there is a bidet in one of the bathrooms (please refer back to image number 1). Once when I was going number 2, I turned on the bidet for ambiance, it's nice. However, I didn't realize that I had put the toilet paper on the bidet and when I turned it on the water came out really strong and shot up and completely wet the toilet paper role. "Ohhhhhh Nooooo" (said in dainty Stefan voice) and "Oh my Gawd" (said in Hard Body Pat Barr voice) went through my head at the same time.