The only reason I am happy my backpack got stolen is because I get to post this but I am not that happy because this video came out so long ago and already had it's 5 minutes of fame.

This was written preemptively in case my backpack gets stolen, which it has not but my camera has. Fuck that person. I hate future crime. but I digress:

Now substitute:
. . . For "some dude" . . . The Chilean next to me
. . . For "from the car" . . . The bus
. . . For "I don't know why someone would do that" . . . Because it's fucking valuable
. . . For "It had superheros on it" . . . Pictures of a chinese jewish kid napping, salt lagoon water aerobics, giant snot rockets, sick ill nasty black and white photos and cyan, nudity, stray dogs, and other activities in the driest desert in the world.
. . . For "It had some of my Halloween candy in it and PSP" . . . Priceless photos of Ben and me and just Ben because whenever we used a camera to take a picture together we used mine and I had all the pics of Ben on my camera and he has all the pics of me on his camera.

(From Ben's camera. Tear.)

Oh by the way, I was away for the week with Ben in the north, hence no writing was done. And going forward the blog will likely suffer do this unfortunate turn of events. It's like my main scorer has just gone down and I've got to find another way to put the biscuit in the basket.

"Larry Bird is not walking through that door, fans. Kevin McHale is not walking through that door, and Robert Parish is not walking through that door. And if you expect them to walk through that door, they're going to be gray and old. What we are is young, exciting, hard-working, and we're going to improve. People don't realize that, and as soon as they realize those three guys are not coming through that door, the better this town will be for all of us because there are young guys in that (locker) room playing their asses off. I wish we had $90 million under the salary cap. I wish we could buy the world. We can't; the only thing we can do is work hard, and all the negativity that's in this town sucks. I've been around when Jim Ricewas booed. I've been around when Yastrzemski was booed. And it stinks. It makes the greatest town, greatest city in the world, lousy. The only thing that will turn this around is being upbeat and positive like we are in that locker room... and if you think I'm going to succumb to negativity, you're wrong. You've got the wrong guy leading this team.


RIP camera.

Ben, it looks like you really screwed this one up.

I guess at least you didn't choose Alaska, right? I knew we should have consulted Kige and Youtube Sports before booking.

Aren't these some of the cutest strays you have ever seen?

Get it? I think I'm a dog. And at the moment I am wondering without a real home like a stray. Just going around sniffing butts. Metaphorically speaking. I don't even know what that could be a metaphor for. (ps. this is the aftermath of Chilean St. Patrick's Day.).

Pretty bacán video on Chilean stray dogs. Unfort, you need a little spanish to fully appreciate it.

"Es dura, es dura la vida acá."

Chilean Survival Guide Tip 1: It is not the classic condiment color system we are used to

The lesson to be learned here is ketchup comes in the green bottle not the red. The lighter hued red in the front left corner of the container of fries is about a half bottle of aji (hot sauce) that I poured before realizing it was not ketchup.

This lesson is best learned through personal error. Or for some of us multiple personal errors.

Extra pointers: If still unsure, ketchup is usually the bottle with less in it and is the one that everyone is reaching for.

Celebrating St. Patrick´s Day The Only Way I Know How

Going to St. Patrick´s Day Pub Duhhhh.

Fixate on the relaxed leprechaun. That is one relaxed leprechaun.

Happy St. Patrick´s Day weiners. I´m sad we can´t vomitting in eachother´s arms anymore.


PS. I think this is the funniest leprechaun clip outside of the clip about the leprechaun spotted in Mobile, Alabama. Basically just do to the code names.

Imaginationland Episode I
Tags: SOUTH
PARKmore...

(click over it to play)
Greg, we still have a date to watch this together and scissor.

Got to go, trying to put together a ghetto car bomb.

I've spent three days trying to come up with a title for this.

I got nothing.

Never challenge an old Chilean man on the street to bottle cap checkers

Just straight up pros, it's in their blood. I'd like to think there is a professional circuit that pits all the various street vendors against each other. Market day isn't known to them as market day. It's known as the Tournament of Champions. Like the fruit vendors against fish vendors against vegetable vendors against flower vendors, etc, etc.. It's a March Madness of sorts. However, clearly the biggest rivaly is the vegetable vs. fruit vendor battle it's more than just love of the game, it's for health food supremacy.  

Behind these very market stands, are masters at their craft:

When two heavyweights come together it attracts a crowd. There is nothing like the drama of a pending triple jump to change the tide of a game.

(Did he just do that? Is that even legal?)

You know that they have to get superstitious and only play with their own bottle caps. Like each one has their own signature cap that everyone knows. "What are you doing bringing Fanta Zero caps to the table, you know Juan's been playing with that since '86." If your new to the circuit you have to wait for a new beverage to come out before you can get a real game. Sucks/is awesome to be the guy stuck playing with beer bottle caps because you know he is always playing drunk and has never won a game. And the guy who has Coke caps- Legend Status.

PS. Would this not make an awesome documentary?

PPS. Who learns chess here? I feel like it is for people who can't hack it on the checkers circuit where the real competition is. The inventor of chess probably was someone who sucked at checkers and invented his own game to compensate. "No, that one can move diagonal, but this one straight. Oh, and when I use this one I can move it in any L shape I want." "And if you are close to winning you have to say 'check' to let me know so I have a chance to escape."

The chess circuit in Santiago, a little more organized:

That being said this homeless guy is a legit baller. This is what I imagine would have happened to Will Hunting if Robin Williams didn't come into his life and get him to straighten the fuck up and away from that loser Ben Affleck. Just making business men cry and beg for mercy in chess and asking them how they like their apples.

Thank you Joe for the homeless man pics.

This is the first thing I am doing to the subaru when I get home

And this my friends is why Chile will survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

I was so tempted to put Chamillionare, "Riding Dirty" in this post. For my personal satisfaction I watched the music video repeatedly. Man oh man, I miss the days of when all rappers had braces and they somehow made it seem cool.

Chileans get they drank on and recycle to epic proportions

Let that be a lesson to all.

The sad thing is that I doubt there is any Purple Drank in that entire pile of booze.

The awesome thing is if you google "Purple drink" Google says, "Did you mean: Purple Drank?"

The more awesome thing is that we have our own purple drank in the hostal. When not in use it sits on top of the fridge fermenting and getting stanky.

G'Damn Hipsters

I could see Pat falling face first into this one even after all his Navy Seal Training.


The ironic thing is that only a G'Damn hipster would take the time to make something like this.

The sad thing is I saw this on a blog designed for girls.

The scary thing is this was also on a Latin American blog . . . hipsters are officially a worldwide epidemic.

I ain't going down without a fight

"Your gonna eat lightning and crap thunder." . . . I believe the part about crap thunder. I want you Speicher, I want you!



ps. the idea of an Asian and me doing a jirafa race can only end not just poorly, but extremely poorly. and I also realize that I have always sucked at jirafa races . . . but if you stop this fight I'll kill you.

If he dies, he dies.

From what I can tell, Chilean Judge Judy kicks ass

If your looking for a new radio station to TCB with I've got just the remedy

http://www.fmtiempo.cl/radioflash.html
Click it. It's the link to the online player for 95.9 here in Santiago. No joke, it is the best mix of current day pop, oldies, rock, girl singers who are mad at their dad . . everything great like that. It's like if Mix 98.5 had a baby with 92.9, but that baby was highly influenced by his uncle 105.7 WROR, who had a second cousin 93.7 who hung around some time. I highly highly recommend it.

Another installment of the LOB, back in the day because she was poor and had nothing else, we would all just sit in her kiosko and listen to the turn-dial radio and just go up and down it finding all the rando awesome strangeness of south american radio. It is a rare combination of 80's, 90's, and now mixed in with move your hips Latin stuff.

The most badassest crosswalk light in the world

This is outside the Presidential Palace, La Moneda. What's funny is that it is a four-way intersection but only one of the crossing lights is like this. What's not funny is that sometimes a little car appears on the little guy's screen while he is running and hits him and there is blood everywhere.

Also did you notice that they completely did away with blinking red? An aggresive street crosser like myself could be thrown off by that, especially if I don't take seriously how the crosswalk man is speeding up his walking style.

PS. I think it was modeled after the runner in QWOP



double PS. I just realized that QWOP got its name because it is the combination of keys you use. I am a dumbass. I also contest that it is pronounced Q-WOP.

Greg just informed me that in Seattle they have what are called, "Crosswalk flags" where when you cross the street you hold a flag in the air for your safety and then put it in the holder on the otherside. It is not quite possibly the dumbest thing in the world, it is the dumbest thing in the world. It's shit like this that makes me lose faith in humanity. Instead of relying on our basic senses to keep us out of trouble we now have more and more fail-safes to protect us and I think the danger is that we become dependent. and complacent 

Come Visit Stefan Santiago Pic of the Day

It's like Made.

I want to be the first, I want to be the best, I want to be Mabe.

Música- Cumbia vs Raeggaton

So this is an awesome song. This group has taken "Para Elisa" and morphed it into a popular style of music down here called "Cumbia." One word to describe cumbia- Sketchy . . . or in Chile, the term used is "fleite." Fleite can be used to refer to people, a bar, a style of clothes, music, etc.



The other kinda pop-ish music is raegatton.

Comparison:

Same song but the first is raeggaton and the second is cumbia. (sometimes the first one below doesn't appear, if you are an avid reader you will hit refresh until it does.).





Cumbia is a style of music that can be found all across Latin America but originated in Colombia where the origins of the style come from the slaves from Africa who were brought over by the Spanish and mixing with the indigenous culture. Each country in Latin America has variations of cumbia, due to each country's distinct development, traditions, and instruments native to the region.

What's interesting is that cumbia in Chile and especially Argentina is associated with the lower classes. In Argentina it is called "Cumbia villeria" because it is a breed of cumbia that comes out of the villas miseria which I touched upon a while back. A lot of the cumbia villeria glorifies themes such as theft and drug abuse. If a Chilean hears you listening to cumbia or raeggaton, it is very very odd to them. I guess it is the equivalent of a middle-class white kid listening to hardcore gangster rap . . . it just doesn't seem to make sense because they can't relate with the material.

Come Visit Stefan Picture of the Day: We have a Visitor

Benjamin is coming to visit, yes indeed he is. Mr. Speicher had the opportunity to cruise around and do that whole lame college spring break thing, but being the amigo that he is, chose to come down and explore the land of stray dogs and Chilean mullets. Let that be a lesson to you all and lets learn and grow from the leadership of Benjamina.


Bantam of the Week (Episode 2) from TrinTV1 on Vimeo.