Valparaiso, where I learned the moon rises. Ya, that´s right, the moon RISES, let that sink in for a minute.

Make fun of me all you want, blah, blah, blah, Stefan is so dumb, he doesn´t know how to hold a fork, just learned to tie a tie last year, says ´foilage´ instead of ´foliage,´ and repeatedly wrote ´Notsies´ instead of ´Nazis´ in his notes in a class junior year of college and when asked who the Notsies were by a classmate, replied "You know, Hitler´s guys, the Notsies." But the fact that the moon rises was just a straight shocker to me.

Please use my time lapse photos below to understand this difficult topic.

Photo A: No moon, (taken some time before photo B)

 Photo B: MOON! (taken some time after photo A)

For starters I thought "moon rising" was just an expression. Like, "full moon rising" was simply referring to when there is a full moon and as the night gets later the more rowdy people are becoming. Or that it was referring to the cycle of the moon as it gets fuller and fuller.

However, in reality, it turns out that the moon really rises similar to the sun and does not just sit there in the sky. Why don´t they teach that in school? I feel like the moon deserves more press than it receives. I think I need to surround myself with more fisherman to really get the kind of gnosh I'm looking for on the moon and it's behaviour.

Editor´s note:


Wikipedia article on the moon was way too long, so the previous statement about the moon acting similarly to the sun is said with absolutely no certainty. Evolution of Wikipedia articles addendum to come based on the premise that during college we lived in a golden age of wikipedia when the articles were of a manageable length and level of detail and you could cram and do well just using them, however now wikipedia articles are becoming so detailed they can no longer be relied upon for short-term studying.)

Two things made me never realize that the moon rises:

1) You see the moon during the day. How does that work?
2) Never took two minutes out of my life to pay attention to the silly antics of the moon. I also would be remiss if I didn´t mention that I am not the only one who didnt´t realize this, ms. lozierd also never knew it.

Anyway that is neither here nor there, it is just my way of introduction to the port city of Valparaiso which lies about an hour and a half from Santiago.

Products of Valparaiso:

• Augusto Pinochet, Chile's military dictator from 1973 to 1990.
• Salvador Allende, the Socialist President of Chile who preceded Pinochet.
• Nobel Prize winning poet Pablo Neruda had one of his homes in Valparaiso.
• Seafood.

A very intriguing mix. Especially the first three.

Pinochet bombed and killed Allende in the Presidential Palace, La Moneda, to take control in 1973. Some speculate that the rivalry dates back as far as the third grade, where Allende had many more friends and demonstrated a strong aptitude for sharing, while a young Augusto prided himself on maintaining law and order as one of the strictest hall monitors in Valparaiso. . .

I equate the relationship of Pinochet and Allende to being like one of those books or movies where there are two kids who grow up as friends, and then something tragic happens, ruining the friendship and one turns out bad and the other good and they fight and in the end and the good one wins. (To give an example, like the classic Colin Farrel, Samuel L. Jackson, and the chick from Fast and Furious movie, S.W.A.T.) Except unlike in the movies and books in this case 'Once upon a time' becomes the good guy gets the shit bombed out of him and killed and 17 years of brutal dictatorship ensues where thousands of people go missing, are tortured, and killed.

Anywayyy, as part of Pinochet's dictatorship and to let everyone know who's the boss he made the National Congress null and void and then as his tenure as ruthless dictator was winding down reinstated the Congress in 1990, however, not in Santiago but in Valparaiso, where it still is today.

(Congress building in Valparaiso)

What makes Valparaiso so unique is that it is not just a dirty port city that looks like pirates should still be wandering around drinking grog but it is also very artsy, "bohemian" (no idea what that means) and is renowned for it's many colors and all the graffiti murals on the walls. You see, it has layers, probably more similar to Ogres and layers of an onion than a cake. This will become evident as we make our journey from the port up into the hills in the following photos:

1) A busy fishing and shipping port:

My favorite aspect of the harbor, a floating dry dock:

To repair a ship they flood the dry dock/sink it, the ship navigates in, and then they pump the water out to do repairs.

From the hill:

The Chilean Navy, responsible for taking the coast away from Bolivia. Bummer for Bolivia.

2) The main city streets of Valparaiso, caught in a time warp (I have like 1 and a half photos of the downtown):

Please note the irony of the horse tied to the "No Parking" sign.

It has lots and lots of telephone wires, probably 90% of which do nothing.

And you make your way into the hills it has important life lessons like this:

"Turn off the TV and live your life."

3) The hills:

Q: How does one gets from the bottom to the top?

A: You walk.

A lot.

The other option is brave one of the over 25 ascenores that date back over a 100 years. Which when looking at do not exude a whole lot of confidence.

usually only about 7 of which are actually functioning.

Ascensor Polanco:

The entrance, almost impossible to find.

The reward of reaching the top:

Some of the most colorful collection of houses in the world.

and spectacular views of the harbor below (the problem is you need 3-D glasses to see it. I know I´ve made that same joke before, I just can´t remember where):

and in the streets of the hills an amazing colection of graffiti artwork:

Some artworks more controversial than others:

When you get to the top and you are ready to take the stairs back down it makes you really want to have a slinky.

Or there is this option to get down (Must watch video):
l


Bonus: Name the various parts of this plate of shellfish that Ben ordered in Valparaiso and he will gift you a pair of his teeth (a collector´s item) before he gets his permanent replacements (tear)!